Clients: My SF Millennial


My millennial – like two ships passing in the night – we rarely see one another – and his house is in order. A perfect pairing.

This month, my most interesting client is a busy, 20-something, very wealthy, man who can’t do his laundry.

Nor can he pick his clothes up off the floor; organize his refrigerator, pantry or closets. He cannot be present to receive the gardener, the maid, or receive special deliveries. His cupboards and pantry are as bare as old Mother Hubbard’s. I have been happy to stock the refrigerator and cupboard shelves with healthy, food, as needed.

Client X readily admits that he is “Not that tidy” and asked me to organize his closets. All of them.

Mr. Chill Stich

He has a couple dozen pair of jeans -all skinny- the man does not eat. You’ll find no Levi’s here – only designer labels like Armani, Fendi, Yves Sans Laurent. There’s a sign in his closet that says “mr. chill stitch.”

He has a smattering of jackets and shirts from Fendi and Armani and a few pair of Prada hi-tops, Prada loafers, four pair of identical white leather shoes (the tag reads: Common Project, $400.)

He defers to hoodies – and the black” I Want More” must be his favorite – he has three copies of the same garment. He has total of 12 hoodies.

I thought the brand was “Acme”- and actually the label says ACNE – something all teens avoid like the plague – is now a favorite label … Go figure.

He is under 30

There is a silver Ferrari parked in the garage. He asked me to drive it to the dealer- something about the overhead light- I contacted the dealer and they came to ‘us’ to do the repair. Now, that’s service!


I sort his mail:UPS, FedEx, AmazonPrime;

It is a landslide of high-end catalogs-a flood of large, thick, creamy-colored envelopes with his name calligraphered from various San Francisco social organizations, (Spinsters, The Guardsmen, ) obscure charities and multiple bank credit cards offers.

I can wait: Deliveries

Last week I witnessed several paintings, delivered and hung by the gallery. The small bevy of in-house gardeners came with sprays and manicure scissors and attended to his plants under my visage. They are like like a religious cult- no talking- each of them takes a quadrant of the house, attends to the plants and they are done within 20 minutes- they walk out single file without saying a word. I always say, “Goodbye! Thank you! Have a nice day!” They nod, like monks.

He a great client.

His house is in a very popular section of San Francisco- for his weekend use. And for parties. He leaves me a Monday morning To Do List. I complete the list. I text him my invoice. And I am paid promptly.

imagesKerry On!

He pays on time and is a gracious tipper.

He is moving to New York for six months. I will wait for his return.

All person, places, things have been scrambled and changed to protect the integrity. Mine.

Contact me today for a free 30 minute consultation

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